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Friday, September 26, 2014

inapproachable

people have been asking why am i acting for so abnormal, 
i am not that kind of person. but yeah, sometimes. 
there's no wrong to being bit cheesy. 
be more honest, speech out what exactly of the feeling you was experiencing. 
i did miss my secondary school's life. 
though we fought, insulted each other, gossiped for any random stuff. 
i was once hate it, i wished like hell to escape that place, 
cos' i feels like i was not belongs to that place, i was like an outsider. 
but now, i feel more like an outsider. 
tolerance, i was trying so hard to but never mind 
i have started to get used to it. 
having lunch alone, walking back to my dorm all alone and sitting alone in the class. 
maybe this isn't a problem for me anymore. 
i was mean to be alone, and apparently i don't care bout it anymore. 
i can survive without the companion of others, i can be alone and be more independent. 
i love to stay alone doesn't mean em loser or weirdo. 
cos' i rather stay alone, but not to being ignore. 
so why not, i choose a so-called best way to go on. 
i don't really might being alone, but i hate being ignore. 
i was totally exhausted of your ignorance, technically i have no feeling towards you anymore. 
i was frustrated and em not going to change myself to entertain you
if i did it, em not longer me myself anymore, 
just tell me, if i can still survive in this kind of environment without becoming a slut or bitch. 
i don't want to be like them.
you can't persuade me of owing that disgusting behavior like you, 
i dare to say by absolute em not a greedy person, 
what i want was a, friend. or a bud? 
how come it never exist? 

it's hard to get close with peoples especially difference gender for me, 
for them i probably a very unfriendly person, 
i treated them so cool or just a manners' grinned even they talked to me. 
i choose to stay silence when they are having a conversation, smiling all the time. 
basically i won't show up my real personality with strangers especially with guys, 
not because em trying to build up a good image, 
instead i always grow some hatred or you can say uncomfortable while talking with them, 
sometimes even very resists, lol.   
em don't know i'll be acting like a nerd, or a shy bab girl. 
i do likes cool guys but i couldn't survive calmly talking with them.  
i can't treat them like girls, so pretty envy on why other girls can doing so well with boys. 
can't break the wall had build up between so long-long time ago. 
itai, who caused this happens to me? LOL 

LE RANDOM FACT OF MINE
*sometimes my mind got mixed with Japanese, English and Chinese etc, 
i can actually remember a Japanese sentence and i know the definition. 
and ridiculously i cannot remember how to say it in Chinese and English == * 



Sasha. 
one week one post, 
easier then eating mash potatoes. 
^ not make sense at all, jerk. 
are u a fool Sasha. damn

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